12.07.2012

Sleep is the Best Thing that Sucks

Yep, that's how I feel too, baby cakes. I miss rest. That's kind of what's been on my mind lately. I miss rest and I'm really looking forward to visiting our family in a couple of weeks and letting them watch the kids so that I can just go and sit in the sunshine and stare at a table or something for a few hours, with a drink I am drinking while it's still hot, and I will be showered AND wearing mascara. This is gonna be restorative. I hope.

My thing lately that I'm not really sure is a sleep disorder but feels like a sleep disorder is this combination of early-evening narcolepsy and wee hours of the morning insomnia. I've been passing out at Otto's 7:15 bedtime pretty much every night this week (he's cuddly). Then, on a few choice mornings, I've been wide awake before 4 am. In between there is lots of taking baby to-and-from crib so she can nurse and snuggle in bed. But still, passing out around 7, waking around 4, stupid. What is going on? I don't know. I mean I'm getting an OK amount of sleep. Actually more than 8 hours most nights. But it doesn't feel that way. I feel exhausted and out of control and actually a little stupid. Like my brain's slowing down and sometimes I feel like I have a deer-in-the-headlights look in my eyes for no reason. Ulgh.

It seems that with the addition of Loretta to our family the joy has gone up exponentially. My heart delights in her extreme personality. She is HAPPY, but then MAD, and she is always DOING and TRYING. It also seems that the amount of stuff on my to-do list has increased a lot: "Take care of 1 2 kids" is a big one! But the amount of time I have to do anything on that to-do list has shrunk. And by the time the day is done and I actually have a minute to, say, sweep or do a load of laundry. Well I just don't want to. I am just fried.

What do you guys do when you feel this way? Is it as easy as spending a day cleaning and organizing house? Or like, are there vitamins on top of pre-natals that I should be taking? Are we in therapist territory here? I hope not because who has time for that? Did you read a helpful book? Or some kind of helpful planner thing? I'd appreciate any suggestions. My only one right now is just knowing that everything is temporary and someday I will look back on this and wish I could be right back here and now. So even though I'm crazy I'm still making sure to enjoy the moments, hold my kids close, and try to stay up at least one night a week to hang out with Rob and catch up on Walking Dead and Homeland (which by the way I am getting really annoyed with).

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