time makes you bolder

Somewhere between being a very bold and fearless child and the woman I am today I think I grew timid. Maybe there's a better word for it. I'm strong; I know I am. I'm opinionated and I'm stubborn and these are things I like about myself. But I'm also careful. A planner. A list checker-offer and a cautious decision maker. I'm a lot of things, sometimes even the life of the party (maybe) but I'm no wild child and it's been a long time since I was unbridled in any way or form. But I once was. I'm told I was a serious little pistol. And so is this little button. She is intense to the point of shaking, throws herself to the ground in anguish several times a day, and knows what she wants without doubt or hesitation, then demands demands demands whatever that thing is until... something happens. She either gets what she wants or explodes into histrionics or simply moves on to some other thing. I love to watch her just be her. She is amazing. I take notes. She inspires me. Both of my kids do. This one, she inspires me to let that inner fire out, to be bold, to go after what I want. Isn't that amazing, how she can teach me to be a truer person while I'm working so hard to teach her things like patience and ease. I just think that's amazing.

currently... feeling much better now

Currently is a weekly link-up that I happily co-host with the fabulous and amazing ♥ Randalin ♥ of Harvesting Kale each week. We hope that you can participate by writing your own Currently post (using our themes or your own) and please join us by linking up. What have you been missing, reading, drinking, eating, planning this week? Over here, we have been...

Missing my hard-soled house slippers. This is what it comes to, you guys. You wake up one day and your beloved house slippers pop a sole and you realize you have become someone who cares a little bit too much about your house slippers. It's funny business, blogging, because I can tell you pretty much the exact day I bought those slips and then just the other day I unknowingly marked the occasion of enjoying them for the last time as I flopped around my house in a virus-induced delirium. Anyways, rather than linger in my sadness I spent wayyyyy too long browsing house slippers on Amazon this weekend and ordered up some new ones. Check it, because these are good stuff.

Who's handing out the Sexy Awards? Because clearly... I get one.  

Speaking of sexy, cool things I spend my time on. I have been Reading multiple online resources on Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease (which is not a disease, it's a virus) because it turns out Loretta had a case of that and it brought our whole family to our knees. We were pretty lucky that Loretta's case involved a couple of face bumps, a few finger bumps, a little diaper rash, and a bump on each heel. She never got a fever and I think the sore throat lasted about two days before we even realized she was sick (just thought our darling grouch was being extra grouchy). I'm pretty sure my 24 hour "episode" over the weekend was probably the same thing and let's just say it: HELLO SKEEVED. We have officially gone Velveteen Rabbit on quite a few toys, boiled everything else we own, brought out the big guns and by that I mean Lysol even though I think Lysol is weird and scary. I think we are on the flip side of this business now and good riddance, plague. 

Drinking Pedialyte for the kids, along with blanket piles, movies, and ice cream with dinner. Whatever it takes to make being sick feel like a good time. I think I tricked them.

Eating candy. Just me, I am hoarding candy and hiding it from my children, so that I can have all the candy! This is the season when all the white chocolate candies crunch up candy canes and have candy cane love child versions of themselves and I have zero impulse control when it comes to THAT. Bring it candy cane white chocolate hybrid candies, bring IT!

Planning to be way more productive next weekend than I was this past weekend. All errands and to-dos are handled on Saturday and Sunday and me getting sick means I'm officially behind on life. Yipes.
     

That was this week. Here are next week's themes: 

watching, reminding, searching, waiting, regretting

almost five and how!

I'm just going to start with how Otto being almost five freaking years old is affecting ME. Because it's freaking me out. Five... Fuuuuuuudge. Except I didn't say fudge. You know. I could go on and on about it but it'd all come back to this... Five years goes by in a blink, you guys. Hug them tight.

Almost five is also hilarious, for example:

Dobo Kintay is a good guy that Otto and his friend Ty invented. The most tragic good guy you've ever heard of. First off, he lives in a tent full of poop, he just does, and he can't ever take a shower so he smells crazy bad. Terrible. His power? Oh just wait for this... His power is that he can shoot potty words out of his eyelashes and that means poop, pee, farts, butts, and penises. It's a wonder this poor guy chose to fight on the side of good. Boys!

"Hello, Mommy" is something Otto started saying when I go upstairs for my half of bedtime. Rob always starts bedtime, they wrestle and talk about superhero origin stories, and then Rob comes downstairs and I go up and we do lullabies and read and chit chat. Anyways, lately when I've gotten to the top of the stairs Otto will be lounging Cleopatra-style at the foot of the bed and when he sees me he says, in this suave little voice, "Hello, Mommy." It cracks me up.

As of this week he can tie his shoelaces and I'm talking rabbit ears here, people! So proud, especially because he was really frustrated by this and worked really hard to get it mastered.

We are also time and specifically seconds and minutes-obsessed. If there are sixty seconds in a minute and sixty plus sixty is one-twenty then if I count to one-twenty that will be two minutes here I go count-shouting!

Sneaking is kind of the newest thing that I'm not really excited about. He's not good at it, like he's INCREDIBLY horrible at it, but still it's something new and I guess something I'm supposed to hope he gets better at so he can go on to be a great leader or artist or whatever. But at almost five it's just kind of a bitter thing to have to start dealing with as a mom of a sweet perfect angel, right. So anyways, Otto's allowed to play Angry Birds on his dad's phone and that game prompts kids to watch some pretty sassy cartoons. I absolutely hate sassy cartoons - like ones that teach kids to be snotty assholes. Otto knows he's not really allowed to watch those cartoons but just yesterday I walked by while he was "playing Angry Birds" and he totally did NOT play it cool, held the phone up to his chest so I couldn't see the screen and looked at me with the most caught-in-the-headlights eyes and said, "don't look at this." (INCREDIBLY horrible sneak) Turns out he was watching Oggy & the Cockroaches. I am trying to be a level-headed parent so I just said that he knows he's not supposed to watch that but he can watch for one more minute, so count to sixty seconds and then turn it off. Whining averted but for reals guys, I'm kind of at a loss on this one.

So that's the latest and greatest. So funny how the milestones become more complex and even how I'm supposed to feel about the milestones becomes more complex. They just become more dynamic and funnier and cooler and awesomer as time goes by but they also force you to be a more dynamic and flexible and awesomer parent don't they? It's funny business. And holy shit almost five years just flew by. Unreal.

when mama feels janky, something something, zzzzz

I don't know about you guys, but I have a bottomless to-do list that kind of defines my every action on the weekends. Any and everything I want to get done for and around my house goes on the list throughout the week and then I wake up bright and early on Saturday morning and start plowing through the list, feeling like a badass, and getting energized by gettin-stuff-dun and crossin-stuff-off. It's pretty much how I stay not overwhelmed by... everything.

So yesterday started off a-ok. We did our Target errands and got a couple of packages put together for Monday's mail and I paid bills, all before 11am! We went to a playdate and came home for lunch and then my head fell off and I died.

Not my proudest afternoon, I think I actually barked at my children. I did not leave the couch. I gargled whiskey and let Rob feed us all frozen pizza (thank you, honey, that was awesome of you) and then I threw up my pizza and made out with my shiatsu back pillow and for the first time in her life I slept through one of Etta's midnight wakeups (I woke up at the tail end of it and Rob was like negotiating with her, "you have been awake for 45 minutes please please please go night night?").

Wha happen? I dunno. I feel ok now but my weekend is thrown. The house looks a mess. On the bright side, my hair looks weirdly good like those white-girls-with-dreads girls I always see and think, "she is so cool; I bet she surfs." Alas, my big plans to have a breakfast feast today and take pics of some amazing nut butters and hot sauces by Frankie V's Kitchen have been pushed back to next weekend. As have quite a few other things on the to-do list and I'm having pre-anxiety about it but you know what.

Tears in a bucket, mother-Eff it. Moms get sick sometimes too and I can't be sick tomorrow, it's a big day at work, so I'm laying low today. Bustin out the slippers that vaguely resemble Uggs as shoes. If I can manage to get the grocery shopping done I'm calling it a success. Let the world assume I surf. xo