almost five and how!

I'm just going to start with how Otto being almost five freaking years old is affecting ME. Because it's freaking me out. Five... Fuuuuuuudge. Except I didn't say fudge. You know. I could go on and on about it but it'd all come back to this... Five years goes by in a blink, you guys. Hug them tight.

Almost five is also hilarious, for example:

Dobo Kintay is a good guy that Otto and his friend Ty invented. The most tragic good guy you've ever heard of. First off, he lives in a tent full of poop, he just does, and he can't ever take a shower so he smells crazy bad. Terrible. His power? Oh just wait for this... His power is that he can shoot potty words out of his eyelashes and that means poop, pee, farts, butts, and penises. It's a wonder this poor guy chose to fight on the side of good. Boys!

"Hello, Mommy" is something Otto started saying when I go upstairs for my half of bedtime. Rob always starts bedtime, they wrestle and talk about superhero origin stories, and then Rob comes downstairs and I go up and we do lullabies and read and chit chat. Anyways, lately when I've gotten to the top of the stairs Otto will be lounging Cleopatra-style at the foot of the bed and when he sees me he says, in this suave little voice, "Hello, Mommy." It cracks me up.

As of this week he can tie his shoelaces and I'm talking rabbit ears here, people! So proud, especially because he was really frustrated by this and worked really hard to get it mastered.

We are also time and specifically seconds and minutes-obsessed. If there are sixty seconds in a minute and sixty plus sixty is one-twenty then if I count to one-twenty that will be two minutes here I go count-shouting!

Sneaking is kind of the newest thing that I'm not really excited about. He's not good at it, like he's INCREDIBLY horrible at it, but still it's something new and I guess something I'm supposed to hope he gets better at so he can go on to be a great leader or artist or whatever. But at almost five it's just kind of a bitter thing to have to start dealing with as a mom of a sweet perfect angel, right. So anyways, Otto's allowed to play Angry Birds on his dad's phone and that game prompts kids to watch some pretty sassy cartoons. I absolutely hate sassy cartoons - like ones that teach kids to be snotty assholes. Otto knows he's not really allowed to watch those cartoons but just yesterday I walked by while he was "playing Angry Birds" and he totally did NOT play it cool, held the phone up to his chest so I couldn't see the screen and looked at me with the most caught-in-the-headlights eyes and said, "don't look at this." (INCREDIBLY horrible sneak) Turns out he was watching Oggy & the Cockroaches. I am trying to be a level-headed parent so I just said that he knows he's not supposed to watch that but he can watch for one more minute, so count to sixty seconds and then turn it off. Whining averted but for reals guys, I'm kind of at a loss on this one.

So that's the latest and greatest. So funny how the milestones become more complex and even how I'm supposed to feel about the milestones becomes more complex. They just become more dynamic and funnier and cooler and awesomer as time goes by but they also force you to be a more dynamic and flexible and awesomer parent don't they? It's funny business. And holy shit almost five years just flew by. Unreal.

No comments: