loretta at three and a half months

hi baby girl.

i just wanted to say that you are the most beautiful little lady i have ever laid eyes on. and when i look at you, sometimes i just get so overwhelmed with the beauty of you that i get frozen looking, just stuck basking in your presence, and sometimes i can't help but cry because i just love you so so much. there is something so fragile about being mama to a little girl. it's a little different than being mama to a boy. because i know, first hand, how difficult adolescence and young adulthood can be for a girl's sense of self. is it weird of me to be thinking of these things already and worrying for you already? i don't know if it's weird; but i am.

here are some of the things i want for you, my sweet, beautiful daughter.

i want you to grow up with a deep sense of being loved.
i want you to laugh and smile often and unselfconsciously.
i hope to instill in you a passion for reading, word play, and wit.
and confidence that is more than skin deep.
if you enjoy athleticism, i want to support you in that.
if you are a big bookworm geek, i want to support you in that.
just whatever your passions, whatever your interests, i want to empower you however i can to explore them.
and i will work hard to teach you strength of character. through my words and through my actions.
and i will work hard to teach you the importance of good judgement and acting with intention.
so that you will know when and how to do your own thing.
and i hope that you always have the tenacity to do your own thing, whatever that means to you.

i can't wait to see what "your thing" is. who you will be. you amazing little creature.

three and a half months is such a short amount of time but you are already up to so much these days. you love holding onto my fingers so that you can sit up and look around. you belly laugh when we do that and also when i pretend to sneeze after you sneeze or when we tickle your sides. you smell so magical like honey and milk. you roll over sometimes now (please stop this! it is too soon and a little horrifying). you babble and coo more loudly and more often than your brother did. you yell more. cry more. giggle more. spit up more. poop more. where he is our mellow, contemplative guy. i think you may be a bit of a spitfire. you cuss us out pretty regularly, but you also love to snuggle and cuddle and just to be held and to be a part of things. i am so thrilled to continue to see your wonderful, unique personality evolve.

you are an elemental part of our family already. we are a great little family of four! Otto adores being your big brother. i adore watching you watching him. he fascinates you and i can tell already that he will be your hero. he is such a gentle, imaginative, thoughtful guy that i whole heartedly think he will be a great hero for you to have.

i love you so much, sissy.

and if anyone ever tries to hurt you i will destroy them.