Otto at Four and Three Quarters

Otto is sneaking up on five. It seems to me that every time my kids get one day older I scream, "How did this happen?!" But then I look up and five is on the horizon. Five? I mean, how the eff did this happen?! Five magic years...

It's super important to Otto that you're crystal clear, he's four and three quarters.

He finally remembers that his birthday is January first, but can't always remember if he "had school today." Ha.

He's obsessed with growing his hair out, "like Mick Jagger." This is probably the first time I've ever had to eat my wants. Release control. Pick a battle, or however you want to say it. He looks mangy to me and I am just thankful that his straw straight hair is finally past the point where it's growing right into his eyes. But I also get a feeling that he craves a little more control of his destiny, lately. So if rock star hair is what he needs to feel like a badass, I guess that's an easy enough one to let him have. I asked him the other day, "When will you ever let us cut your hair again?"

"I will cut my hair the day before I die."

He plays Lego Batman on xbox with his dad. He plays turbo chess every night before bed. He loves Royals by Lorde and Squirrels in my Pants by Phineas and Ferb (a show that he isn't even allowed to watch, I think it's too sassy) and Satisfaction by the Stones. He asks to rock out in the car and when I peek back there he's playing air guitar and his cool guy hair is tossing all around as he jams out.

He makes me smile every single day. He also makes-a me crazy. He really can't get no satisfaction these days. He's always on the take. What else can he get out of any deal? And the moping around, omg haha. Have you seen Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer?



It's like that. Ha.

He is my heart. He is my sunshine. He is so hilarious and so smart and so sweet hearted. I see him struggling with new emotions lately, like the yearning for fairness. Also with sadness, lately this has come up a few times when a buddy at school isn't cool to him. It breaks my heart. We're entering into harder years, here, with five. As a mom, it's scary business. I just want to protect him from everything that's out there. But I know that wouldn't really be doing him any favors. So instead, I will have the joy of watching him grow up a little more every day. Into an amazing guy. And I'll make it my business to help him learn to cope with all the unfairness and uncoolness that's out there, to be a great person with a moral compass and strong values. I can't wait to see who he becomes, because right now he is the coolest little guy in the world.

is it f#ck?

so you know how you're supposed to watch what you say around your kids so they don't end up foul-mouthed little hoodlums dropping f-bombs at preschool while flashing their underpants? oops.

confession: i *may* have a bit of a sailor's mouth when it comes to things that really get my goat, like, for instance, pretty much anything that has to do with our f*cking dog ::wink, wink:: and i *may* not have been censoring myself around the house. and Otto may have asked me the other day, when i was asking him to clean up his refrigerator magnets off the floor, "is it fuck? it's fuck, isn't it, mommy?"

what, child??!!! oh nooooo! and inwardly, hahahahahaha. but outwardly, keeping my cool, "oh no, Otto, that isn't a word that we should use." and then silently praying that he never, never busts that one out again, and vowing to the stars and moon that i will never use that word again in his earshot.

ps. i was being really nice about the magnets thing. i swear. i'm a super even-keeled mama. i think he was just trying to figure out what would be an appropriate time to use this "word". i was floored. and lesson insta-learned, believe me. but also: bwahahahaha! Otto is so awesome. but also: eeeek. i always say that leading by example is one of the most important things a parent can do. so i really feel like a loser for being the person he got this word from. he will NOT be hearing this from me again.

you might :) but he won't. so speaking of the eff bomb, oregon didn't get the effing memo that it's spring. we had snow last week! snowpocalypse 2012! it was actually really pretty and fun, but what a pain. the whole town closed down for 2 days, trees breaking left and right, it was nuts.

Ot and his dad (and our effing dog) made a snowman in our backyard...

 
ok, so someone else please tell me this f*ck thing isn't a mommy fail. or at least that you had something similar/funny with your kids? and i can undo the damage by saying things like "criminy!" from now on, right?