8.02.2010

Confession: I Throw Away My Husband's Dirty Socks

Theresa from Rock On Mommies launched Pet Peeve Monday today and I'm in love with her idea! Getting out the negative rants early in the week so you can focus on the lovely stuff; it's a great concept. So I racked my brain thinking of all the things that annoy me in this world. There are thousands, not the least of which are teenagers (yup, just teenagers in general, that's how I know I'm getting old at 32), or people who don't smile or say hi back to Otto when we're at the store or park (effing jerks), but my biggest pet peeve, the one that takes the cake, is finding dirty socks strewn loosey-goosey around my home! The perp: my darling dearest husband of 13 years, who, for reasons I can't really explain right now, I'm going to refer to as "Pepper".



I could go on and on about the years of begging, pleading, writing sternly worded notes on paper, writing sternly worded notes in sharpie on the socks themselves, holding socks for ransom, freaking out, and even crying that I have sadly waded through trying to convince Pepper that it is rude, dirty, inconsiderate, and just disgusting (and actually makes him a bad person) to leave his dirty socks sprinkled around the house. Nothing got through. Until the day I started throwing his socks away...

At first I didn't tell him. It just felt so good. I'd see the socks lying there and instead of picking them up and throwing them in the hamper, as I'd always done in the past (basically just giving him fresh ammo for the next time), instead, I'd pick those stupid socks up and throw them away! My heart would race; it was thrilling! And not another word was said. 

This went on for weeks. Until one day he finally noticed that he really didn't have any socks left. There were no man socks in the house.

He confronted me. I fessed. He was shocked. I was electrified! We both laughed. He couldn't believe it. I felt awesome!

That was about four years ago. I think the last time I threw one of Pepper's socks away was last week. That's right, he didn't stop. Buuuuut, he's definitely toned it down. And I still get a thrill throwing his socks away. I love it! I know it's totally wasteful and stupid, but it's our balance and it makes me happy. I used to be sour and unhappy every time I saw one of those things in my home. Now I get a huge smile on my face! It means I get to be devilish! So I guess I turned my justifiable peeve into a creepy fetish but who cares, haha.

Peeve vented. Thanks Theresa! And shout out to @EricaZHR another Pet Peeve Monday supporter!

So what are your pet peeves? And how do you deal with them?

-Lindsey

67 comments:

PoetessWug said...

I am laughing hysterically!!! :-)) I am a wife of 28 years, with a hubby who rarely, if ever, puts anything back where he got it from! I have spent the last few years in a constant pursuit of...something and everything!! I even went through a period where I was throwing things away, but...he never noticed! Ha! ha! If I threw every sock he owned away, he'd be heading out the door with bare feet in shoes. I'd say: "Do you realize you don't have any socks on?" and he'd say: "Yeah, I couldn't find any." And he would go right ahead wherever he was going!!! LOL So, I feel your pain! :-))

New Breed Mama said...

How empowering!

theresa said...

Hysterical!!! I've done. I've thrown away unmatched dirty socks. It's just gross! Hard and crusty, no matter how many times I've washed them! EEWWW, Excuse me, but I need a shower now!

What was done said...

Getting old is only in our mind.
Age never prevented people from doing things:
http://www.whatwasdone.com/

Karyn Climans said...

On the opposite extreme, I have a husband who is so annal about putting things away that he drives me crazy! Maybe I should just shut-up and enjoy the fact that he tidies up behind me.

Mommafo said...

HI-larious. Except I'd have to go buy new socks.... I actually end up tossing the socks over on his side of the bedroom so they pile up. :P

CrunchyVTMommy said...

haha I think you and I discussed this on twitter forever ago.

I hate when my husband leaves the toilet seat up. Few months ago I went insane. Tried ripping the lid off the toilet. I couldnt rip it off. Had to screw it off carefully.

THEN I chucked it down the stairs at him. Told him if he kept it up the other toilet was next. But if I had to do it again I would SMASH the seat over his head.

He laughed at me. I laughed. And now the toilet seat stays down...most of the time

Lindsey Muth said...

Oh my gosh you guys I LOVE that I'm not the only one! @Crunchy your toilet story is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard! You're the only 1 I know who's meaner to her husband than I am and still gets away with it :)

Put upon wives unite! Hurt your men! Either physically (hahaha) or underhandedly. *Maniacal laughter* Gotta do something to balance those scales and make you laugh and feel better :)

xoxo

luv2beanana said...

Don't you wish men were perfect like us women?

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