St. Thomas Is Totally Ugly. I Had An Awful Time.

For reals though, St. Thomas was totally amazing. I want to move my family there and start a business selling the coconuts (that actually grow on the trees wherever you look) with straws stuck in them. I will first have to learn how to shimmy up a coconut tree and hit the coconuts with rocks til they fall to the ground and I'll have to teach Otto how to catch the falling coconuts. I've seen this done on TV at least twice and it doesn't look that hard. I think it's a good business plan.

ps. Look at my cute dress! Totally a "Nothing New" purchase, thrifted from Buffalo Exchange just for this trip. My hair also looks like a wig I thrifted from a dumpster but it's actually my own, haha. Someone failed to make use of the brush they actually remembered to pack. Wait, brushes are for prissies, princesses and movie stars, right?

I went out dancing and some guy who looked like Shaggy and Shaggy's love child (see below) was all up on me. Though if you asked him, he might say, "Zoiks! It wasn't me." (get it? I'm cracking myself up and probably no one else). Anyways, white dread guy was not cool but otherwise I was on the scene like a dance machine. Also, I invented a dance move where I stand there swaying and smelling my armpit. Totally hot, can you spot it?

Another "Nothing New" success in the outfit above -->
Shoes: DSW circa 2008

Dress: Banana Republic original retail something like $140, clearance for $80, it was 1/2 off clearance that day (so $40) and I'd walked in with $40 in banana bucks that were about to expire so total cost = $0. Holy crap!

Shots of/from our hotel are below (the Ritz Carlton St. Thomas) it was amaaaaazing! ps. I totally said that in this guy's voice:

pps. I work for a travel management company so I do understand this is not a normal business trip destination but I ain't complaining!

Here is a News Flash: I was made to snorkel. No pics but just imagine the most graceful, natural snorkeller you have ever seen as she expertly flippers her way between coral reefs, swims through a school of Little Nemos, and after an hour takes her snorkel off without even the faintest trace of goggle marks on her face for the next 2 hours.

Another awesome part of this experience was that we actually got so much work done and I NEVER get to get work done outside of my home office (aka the lonely batcave). We were like brainstorming, planning, energized work fiends and I loved it! I was so not made to work from home. I miss my co-workers already and it was so hard to move back into the batcave today (especially because today was freaking chilly and I had to wear hand warmers and drink hot coffee all day just to stay alive).

I also missed my chubby cheeked urchin and my future math professor like a LOT. This was the first time I've felt physical separation anxiety from Otto in about a year. I panicked on the flight over, worrying that he was in a car accident or something and I'd be trapped in the middle of nowhere. I even cried - that's no joke - and the second I landed I texted/called my MIL and hubs to make sure he was ok. They were both like, "whatever, he's awesome, go away". Anyways, that part sucked but I obviously got over it enough to enjoy myself which is totally all that matters.

Also, I got to sleep in a big fluffy bed without waking up once (or sixteen times) during the night, for 3 nights in a row! For the WIN!

Thanks for listening guys. So who's been snorkeling?



Anonymous said...

And yet, despite that title I want to go. Really, really badly.

I spent 6 weeks once on a marine biology field trip in Baja California. Snorkled every day, all day. Loved it.

Sweet Harper said...

Love you!!! You really made me want to work where you work, but only if I can come dancing with you in St. Thomas. Oh, and you looked gorge as always! xoxo Muah!

Alana said...

Ok, this post! AMAZEBALLS!
And lets run away with Tracy and Jenny and move to St. Thomas. I am tall! I can get up in the tree for coconuts!!!!
Think about it!

luv2beanana said...

Wow, sounds like you had a ball. That's great. I have been snorkeling in Hawaii. I loved it. Loved the pictures and the story (except zoik guy) CREEPY.
We had a ball here too. Otto is such a blessing and so much fun. However......2 chubby cheekers at the same time is exhausting. I had King and Ot for several hours on Friday and neither kid was one bit tired, full of vim and viggor. Where do they get their energy. Love those little boys.

BusyWorkingMama said...

Love love love the dance collage pics :) You go, mama!! Glad you had a good time!

PoetessWug said...

WOW! St. Thomas really is ugly.and listening to you talk about it was so boring...NOT!!! ^_^ I'm glad you had a good time. Now you'll be Otto's mom, A.K.A. "Rested Island Mama"!! ^_^

Ry's Mama said...

Looks like you had an amazing trip! That hotel is WAY better than the one I stayed at when I went to St. Thomas...I was afraid I'd step on a needle or something when I went down to their "private beach". SKeezy.

Anyway, you totally made me want to go back!!

OT and ET said...

Rachel - I want your life. Seriously, you have the most amazing stories and 6 weeks of daily snorkeling sounds like heaven!

Tracy & Alana - Duh, you are so invited to join my fam in St. Thomas for the coconut biz. It's gonna be so amazing!

Nita - Otto was saying "TMI" all morning. It's so hilarious! He had the best time with you guys <3

Aleks & Ms. Wug - I feel like if we ever end up at a blog conference or something together a dance party is definitely going to happen!

Ry's Mama - oh I saw some of those hotels on the way back to the airport. Sketch City! But you should definitely go back; our hotel was seriously great.

Anonymous said...


I am so sorry you had to go through all that.

It's times like these that make me so thankful that I am a SAHM and don't work for some wretched company that would send me to a tropical paradise.

; )

OT and ET said...

It was torture, for sure! The worst. Although my dream job is to be a SAHM, for reals.

EatDrinkBeRunning said...

Awesome, would love to get sent on a work trip like that!! http://hungrigyrl.blogspot.com

Joyseelun said...

oh yah..we can tell you had fun with your raising the roof hand motion there lol