a mental health day

Today and tomorrow I'm taking two mental health half days at work. I'm working both days, but taking a little extra time at the back of today and front of tomorrow to get my head in order. Things have been kind of swimming lately. Overwhelmed is almost not enough of a word for it. So much stress. I feel like an exposed nerve at moments. Not always, but it's always kind of lurking beneath the surface. I feel like I've been sick or just barely not sick for months. I feel sad. Except when I'm fine. Which feels extra crazy.

I've wanted to talk about this on here for a while. I share so much of the joys in my life with you guys, it felt like the honest thing to do to admit I'm kind of falling apart. Except when I'm not. (Extra crazy!)... Anyways, I haven't talked about it because... I don't know why. Because I don't want pity. I just want equilibrium.

My friend told me it's probably a lot of things coming together at once, including plain old stress and a Vitamin D deficiency. I ordered some organic D to mainline, which should arrive today. Maybe the sun will come out this month, Rob will pass his test, and I will calm the crap down. I hope so.

In the mean time, two little breaks in the routine, today and tomorrow. Maybe that's all it will take to turn the tide. Some quiet, actually alone time to clean and listen to loud music. A lunch with a friend. A hair appointment. Then Rob will pass his test on Thursday and my parents will visit and it will be a low-key hopefully sunny birthday for Loretta and we'll all kind of quietly move onto the next chapter of our story and I hope it's a peaceful, happy, boring chapter of goodness.

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